


Point

by Niektete (therealfroggy)



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: British Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:02:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealfroggy/pseuds/Niektete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan will do most anything to win QI. Stephen approves!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Point

Why is it, Stephen wonders, that Alan always asks him hopefully, “Point?” when he actually knows something? Of course Alan has to ask – it would be odd if he didn't – but why does he look so damned hopeful? They both know a great part of the show's success lies in the portrayal of them as the master and the apprentice, the classy genius and the charming dunce. It works best that way. And Alan always grins when he falls into a trap, so Stephen doesn't think he minds too much.

But those twinkling eyes are still hopeful and pleading when Alan asks, “Point?” or something to that effect. And then someone – usually Stephen – chuckles and tells him no, he can't have a point, or perhaps (once in a while) yes, he might have just one. And Alan still looks hopeful.

Stephen thinks it's wonderful, actually. He thinks it's wonderful that the audience always cheer Alan louder than the rest of the panel, despite the fact that the curly-haired comedian doesn't know a lot of interesting trivia and gives the obviously wrong answer more often than not.

Because Alan is wonderful, even if he appears somewhat dim and childlike, and Stephen wants so badly to give him a point or ten whenever Alan looks up at him and grins, “Point?” And Stephen wants to stroke his curly hair like a pet while he gives him the point he seems to want so much.

“Yes, pet, you shall have as many points as you like.”

Wouldn't it be wonderful to say that during a take? Stephen would say it in a camp voice, with a camp wave of his right hand, and smile jokingly as the audience laughed and Alan giggled. It would be even more wonderful to see Alan's beatific grin when he won, simply on account of all the points Stephen had given him while calling him “pet”.

And of course, in Stephen's quirky brain, one thing always led to another. It was a fairly short route from imagining calling Alan pet to imagining Alan liking it; it was a highway to hell from there. Stephen found Alan utterly wonderful; his boyish curls and easy grin were only the tip of the iceberg, and though Stephen knew he shouldn't even consider it, he found himself wanting to give Alan more than mere points.

And then one day, just after filming another G episode, Alan gave him an opportunity that he just couldn't resist, no matter how unwise it was on every level.

Stephen was just undoing his tie in his dressing room when Alan came slinking in in that slumping yet cat-like way he had.

“I still think I deserved a point for knowing about Cleopatra and her brother,” Alan said, leaning against the door frame with a happy grin.

“Dear Alan, even I was hard pressed to see how you digressed from the subject of gold to the incestuous marriages of the Egyptian Pharaohs,” Stephen said, reaching for the brandy he knew he'd find on his vanity. “I'm very proud of you for knowing. But it wasn't all that interesting, since we already knew it.”

Alan affected an exasperated look. “Who do I have to blow 'round here to get a fucking point, then?”

Stephen's breath caught in his throat, and he slowly closed the door behind Alan. This was too good an opportunity, even if all it did was make Alan stammer and blush and excuse himself.

“You shall have as many points as you like, pet,” Stephen said with a playful smile, “when you blow _me_.”

Alan laughed, but even as the laughter died down, he was pressing up against Stephen with a wide-eyed look of glee on his face.

“Is that so?” Alan said, and took hold of Stephen's lapels. “Are you sure you're in a position to give me anything at all, Stephen?”

“Well, perhaps not on the show,” Stephen said with a raised eyebrow. “I can't just give you points at every turn. But I could always tell you all the answers.”

And a little more, his body supplied. You could tell him so much more, especially about what you could be doing to him right now.

“Alright, then,” Alan said with a wide smile, and kissed the older man.

Stephen's entire body tingled pleasantly. Alan was obviously not used to kissing men; he was too gentle and he didn't use his tongue nearly enough for Stephen's tastes. It made it all the more exciting; he imagined Alan had little or no experience with homosexual encounters, and the idea of teaching him...

He could teach him _everything_. Stephen groaned, sliding one hand into Alan's divine curls and the other onto his hip. The younger man soon picked up a hint or two; the kiss grew fiercer and more dynamic.

“How many points now?” Alan said, breaking the kiss.

“Eight,” Stephen said automatically, more interested in toying a little with Alan's earlobe than actually keeping score.

“Alright,” Alan said, and slid to his knees. He shuffled a few inches closer, until Stephen could feel that mass of brown curls tickle his suddenly bared stomach. Then the older man's belt was open, his trousers shoved down, and Alan had a hand inside his shorts, groping for a better hold on Stephen's erection.

“Good Lord,” Stephen gasped, because Alan obviously had absolutely no grasp of the concept of subtlety or skill. But of enthusiasm, there was plenty.

“Careful with the teeth, pet,” Stephen groaned. Alan's tongue was doing positively indecent things to the underside of his cock, but those teeth were scraping lightly against his skin from time to time, keeping him on the edge.

“How many, then?” Alan said, stroking the older man a little more slowly.

Stephen looked down and met laughing brown eyes. “Twenty,” he said.

“Fantastic,” Alan grinned, and tried shoving most of the hard flesh in his hand, into his mouth. Stephen moaned.

“Little imp,” he huffed with a smile.

Alan's mouth curved around the erection filling it, and the younger man clumsily went to sucking another man's cock for the first time in his life. Stephen's hips wanted to buck forward into that delicious heat, but he controlled himself.

“Twenty-nine,” Stephen breathed mindlessly. Alan's mouth was so eager; so willing. So demanding.

“And if I let you come in my mouth?” Alan said suddenly, almost giggling where he knelt in front of his colleague.

“Only name it, and you shall have it,” Stephen said, his lips wanting to smile but his panting breaths hindering them somewhat. “A hundred?”

“I want five points for being cute on the next show,” Alan said, his hand stroking Stephen slowly. “And a cooler buzzer.”

“Done,” Stephen moaned, for as soon as he was done talking, Alan swallowed down as much of Stephen as he possibly could. “Oh, pet, you shall have ten points!”

“Mm,” Alan agreed, and the vibrations of his hummed agreement sent Stephen over the edge. With a breathless groan, the older man clutched at Alan's wonderful curls, his hips thrusting minutely into the mouth holding him.

Clearly Alan wasn't all that sure what to do about the salty evidence of their bargain, because he swallowed, made a grimace, and went to the bin to spit out the rest. Then he took Stephen's glass of brandy and drank.

“An acquired taste, that,” Alan said, but he was smiling widely at Stephen and his brown eyes were glittering with mirth.

Stephen was still trying to compose himself; he took a deep breath to steady his roughened voice before answering. “Indeed.”

“Are you really going to give me five points for being cute?” Alan asked, looking with interest at his colleague.

“Of course,” Stephen said. “Or for being charmingly silly. Whichever fits the situation.”

Alan laughed. “Great. I want a buzzer with the ringtone where you say, ´Damn you all!` That'll go over well with the audience.”

Stephen smirked. “As will all the subtle hints of homosexuality I will throw your way during the recording.”

“You know what would go over even better with me now?” Alan said, giving Stephen a positively lascivious wink. “If you reciprocated.”

“Oh dear, the dunce has learnt a new word,” Stephen said, moving to unzip Alan's trousers. “Just for that, pet, I will show you how, exactly, this particular taste is acquired.”


End file.
